Day Twelve.

        Good day, gotta love Friday! I'm feeling part of the victory and healing that I know I will feel at the end and its an awesome feeling. I feel like its going away and I'm able to over come this by focusing on Him and handing it completely to Him. I've said I was putting it in His hands before but I was really holding on to it with all that I am, I never made the complete step in spirit, soul, and body to fully surrender. I would say in my spirit yes I surrender and I give this to Jesus, but then my actions wouldn't follow that decision. I would want to change my ways so badly but then just continue doing what I was doing without even thinking about it. My body, my flesh was controlling me, and not my spirit, or The Holy Spirit. I'm experiencing feeling in control when trying to surrender all of me, kind of ironic. I didn't even know how much I was out of control until I gave control up to God and He so kindly rearranges things replacing all the yuckiness with peace and joy and all His cool stuff. I never really understood Paul in Romans when he was saying that he did what he didn't want to do because I just thought that it was silly, why didn't he just do what he wanted to do! I knew I was unhappy with my actions, but I was always kind of behind a wall that kept me from seeing where Paul was coming from in Romans. I don't think that made any sense, but its okay. I'm giving my actions up to God and then hopefully I can do what HE wants me to do. 

            ^"Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

 You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you."

                                                        Romans 8:5-11